American Male Pigs :: essays research papers

American Male PigsToday in this great country of ours, there is an animal that stalks theface of our land. An animal thatll stop at actually little to obtain its nightlygoal. Some women have unjustly classified this animal a Land Shark, along withan assortment of other colorful names. fiddling do the women of this countryrealize that these animals have banned together to form a national coalition. I,along with most males above the age of consent, am a proud and very activemember. Our covert organization is called American Male Pigs. Our slogan toall other males and proximo males, is                    "Get AMPed"Our purpose is to educate the present, and future male populations, sothat they might be better able to distinguish between the different types offemales and notify all other members of their findings.     Everyone is unique. However, most women can be herded into t hree basicgroups. Those groups areThose who do,Those who dont,and those who do, that you wont do.The last group and by far the least important, are those who would doAnything with Anyone that you wont do. These women arent commonly veryattractive. They are more often than not, quite heavy. They are NOT desirable.These are the women, who after youve been drinking heavily all night, at 200A.M. still dont look good. You can see them run along up at the exit to every bar,looking quite sad, lonely and pathetic at closing time, hoping and praying toget lucky. Unfortunately this hefty flock is usually good in bed. Logic ofcourse would dictate that they would have to be, or else they know they wouldNEVER get anything otherwise.The other type of third class women that arent usually identified untilits too late, are the "FATAL ATTRACTION" type. Theyll do anything you ask,whenever you ask, but in return you unknowingly give up your soul. These arewith divulge a enquiry the most ha zardous of women, and must be immediately identified.The second section is a strange breed indeed. Those who wont. Wontwhat, they wont do anything with anyone. We have all met these. Usually stuckup, with an business of conceit, grandiosity and Supreme BITCH all rolled up into oneHOT, tight-assed little package. These are not hard to find. Most seem to oozeout of the woodwork. The only purpose we can find for these prudes is to PISSmales off. A lot of these women will talk to you, some might actually date you.Beware of these datesYou debauch your date dinner, maybe a show, then when it comes to a kiss